Is this real?: Thinking...

I've been thinking... Not about a lot, but about something.

Do you really learn from your mistakes?

And I think you do...

Until you forget.

I've made the same mistake twice, maybe even a third or fourth time. And I think about it... For a while anyways. At school today, the kids were playing, and suddently a mattress falls on the smallest kid. Well, perhaps, I should tell you, I work at a school for kids with ADD. They are always, at full speed, every day! And it's hard for them to settle down and be calm for five minutes. And today, they got the chance to play in the gym. (they love that)

One of the boys had this crazy idea that he would slide on mattresses across the floor. The mattress had to stand vertical. And the second he pushes up the mattress, another kid runs behind it. And... Kapow! A kid under a mattress. i watched the whole thing, I even held the mattress. I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn't really think, until the poor kid had slammed his face against the floor, beeing crunched by the huge mattress, which was at least 20 times heavier than himself.

I should have known something was going to go wrong, but my brain was on pause.. Perhaps I learned from my mistake, let's see next time we go to the gym!

Let me tell a little about myself.

My name is Kowhai and I'm twenty years of age. I'm from Denmark, in Europe, but my dad is from New Zealand. So, I guess I'm from New Zealand as well. Well, I know, I am!My name means "yellow" and is the national flower in NZ.

I live with my mother and my brother, but just until I have saved up to go around the world. I work two jobs, trying to save for this trip, which I have planned the last two years, and in August I'm going, and I CAN'T wait!

I work, like I said, with children with ADD. And it's a hard job, but I really enjoy it, because I get to be a little bossy, which I can't do at home. I get to help these kids and I love that I, Perhaps, can teach them something valuable, they can use in the next part of their lives.

The other job is a bartending job in a local pub, with the local people always visiting, which is great, because now I know them and I can feel comfortable.

I know I'm not that old, but a lot of things has happend in my life. A few years ago my father had a drinking problem, and not long after my mother and him divorced. It took hard on my brother, who got a little depression and couldn't stay in school. He was kicked out of 4 schools and is know not doing anything. A year ago I got a call from my mother and she told med my grandfather had gotten cancer and only had a few months to live. At that time, I was living 300 miles from him. I was crushed. A few months later, my father had a nervous breakdown and we didn't know if he was going to be ok. At that time I had to sell my dog, because I couldn't take care of him anymore.

My father is sober.

My mother and father talk civilized.

My grandfather is still alive.

My brother has a "girlfriend" and is happy.

I got my dog back.

I moved back home.

Sometimes things work out.